Getting used to not being a wife after more than 40 years of being one is huge challenge. one problem is getting used to that Me/We thing.
a lot of my old habits and routines are now pointless. This can be upsetting but I'm better focusing on the humour and absurdity of accidentally continuing old routine while i get used to new ones. In the meantime:-
Laundry: I don't need huge boxes of washing powder, toilet rolls, detergent now its just me. The big packs I automatically picked up have lasted me for months. Friends kindly tell me its a good investment!
I miss moaning about the laundry. Steve was a shirt and tie bloke. For 42 years I complained about ironing 14 shirts minimum each week. Once done I put them all my ironing at the bottom of the stairs and wonder how long it would stay there before someone took it up" then have a weekly moan fest!
Last week I left my ironing and bits on the stairs - then suddenly remembered I'm the only one here now to take stuff up. I just realised I washed and ironed at least 32,032 of Steve's shirts over the last 44 years and left a pile at the bottom of the stairs and had a moan every Sunday.
Lavatory Paper: I didn't deliberately assemble a post Brexit / Pre pandemic collection of lavatory paper for fear of getting the shits. I just automatically grabbed a big family pack. I don't need a 16 roll pack of supreme quilted lavatory paper every month. This habit has to stop. Also It's no good me leaving the cardboard on the holder and watching it either as it'll stay there forever unless I change it myself.
Food Shopping: My latest hobby is collecting plastic boxes. I now need to un-pack and re-wrap the food I buy into single portions. The smallest packs are usually for two people This makes storing and defrosting easier and minimizes waste. I also need to freeze all bread as it goes green before I can eat it all. I get it out two slices at a time.
Cooking: Peeling potatoes or tipping rice into my 'normal' pans in the normal way ... made me fat. Smaller amounts look lost in my normal pans. I now cook my veg in little milk pans, frying happens in an omelette pan and roasting in an 8" square cake tin. When people come round I have a Fabulous Cooking Machine that nurses me through the things Steve used to cook and gives me perfect results every time - Sorted! Washing up: My 8 person dishwasher is a pain in the arse, it takes me a week to fill it. It's almost redundant . I bought a nice washing up bowl from Dunelm . I have also developed a new fetish for brightly coloured rubber gloves so my hands dont shrivel up like prunes
The Me / We thing: The hardest thing to remember is that it's just 'me' now. With holidays I find myself saying "We like" Cornwall / Venice/ Canada or whatever. In the butcher I forget and still say "We like beef, rack of lamb"or whatever. 'We' are no more, its just me! Decorating is not about what 'we' like anymore. On a good note I dont have to compromise, but I forget and buy what he likes even if I dont like it much.
Thankfully Steve and I did things alone as well as together. We worked long hours in differing parts of the country for some years. So I have plenty of friends, colleagues and ex colleagues. I'm used to going out independently. So that's not really a change
The calendar on the wall was VERY important in the before days. So New Year 2022 I dutifully highlighted all the dates I'm unavailable so "we" know where I am .... Old habits die hard.
Once I stop thinking "we" like or "we" enjoy certain things I'll feel I'll be more settled.
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