After The Before Times

One morning I woke up and realised It is entirely up to me how happy or sad I want to be. 

The world keeps spinning and life goes on. Grief is challenging to navigate and needs to be embraced. Its been nearly 4 years now and thinking back I know I dealt with different issues and emotions at different times.

I started off with shock, then devastation, followed by a cocktail of fear, anger and worry.  At each stage I learned a lot about myself and that's been helpful. I'm the sort of person that needs to know where I'm going and what I want to do. I hope to be  around for a long time and enjoy my life not be overwhelmed by nervousness of the unknown.  

Some people say things like "Time heals" as if death is a wound that will scab over and fall off. It wont for me. The sorrow of Steve no longer being around to share our day to day lives wont ever go. I loved him that much  

Death and dealing with loss is impossible for me to explain. It's personal and also it's different for each and every person I'm sure. 

Norma McInerny  below explains things far better than I ever could.